Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Devil's Possession

Your first three stanzas are very poignant and well executed, my only suggestion would be to keep the "you" address consistent throughout the poem. The climax and transition in your fourth stanza is in need of another noun or adjective to help make it stand out and also clearly present the image of the speaker's struggle. The fifth stanza is a bit unrealistic, if you are trying to present a believable idea than you may want to revise the situation. While I like the ending, it personifies the You and changes the audience from an observer to a participant in a way that is unclear. Is the "He" or "You" the antagonist?  Aside from that, I think the last two lines are very successful.

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