The Devil's Possession

Your first three stanzas are very poignant and well executed, my only suggestion would be to keep the "you" address consistent throughout the poem. The climax and transition in your fourth stanza is in need of another noun or adjective to help make it stand out and also clearly present the image of the speaker's struggle. The fifth stanza is a bit unrealistic, if you are trying to present a believable idea than you may want to revise the situation. While I like the ending, it personifies the You and changes the audience from an observer to a participant in a way that is unclear. Is the "He" or "You" the antagonist?  Aside from that, I think the last two lines are very successful.

College Essay 6

Your introduction is a little choppy, I suggest that you add a more attention grabbing conclusion sentence to help transition to your body paragraphs. I like the colloquial language, it helps to make your piece more relatable, however I would consider staying away from words like "belly"and the repetition of "other". Your connection of the sandwiches to a greater idea is clever and you support it well however, it is a little confusing at the beginning of the paragraph so you may want to find a way to connect the two together. Keep in mind that sentences should not end with prepositions or unclear pronouns. Your last two paragraphs are a little short, I think you should add a more personal reflection to make the essay more about you. The story at the beginning has a good foundation but it could be even greater if you connected it more to yourself and your achievements. Remember, you want to SELL YOURSELF :)

We are so excited to be launching our literary criticism blog! While we continue to compose a strong literary panel and build our blog, we are greatly anticipating your submissions. Please refer to our submissions page to see how to go about sending your work.